Car Culture Critic Gifts

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

Made in the USA

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This is gross! Why are all these cars covered in girls wearing bikinis? It's very disrespectful."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"Now version of 'Des Knaben Wunderhorn'."

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

Custom Cruiser Magazine Reader Survey: Do you own a lowrider?"

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"Where's the fire, pal?"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Castle with parking lot.

'I call it my bumper sticker.'

Pimp my cow.

"Baldo, there's a lowrider at the other end of the mall!"

A sign on the back of a car reads "Just married - Sorry we didn't invite you. It was a small wedding."

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

The development of cars.

'We've reduced the carbon footprint of this model to a size 5 with stiletto heels.'

'It had to happen! They've made Top Gear into a costume drama!'

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

"The Ford will give you a son, and you will call him a manual."

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"I don't get it, Baldo. Why are you obsessed with 1964 Chevrolet Impalas."

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.