Classic Car Critic Gifts

'It must have good gas mileage because it hasn't even been started in two decades.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Sailor in Car.

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Cats on Board.

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"What old school? This is my life."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

'My Alfa Romeo, My Alfa Romeo, where for art thou?'

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."