Driving Alarmists Gifts

'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'

"It's time to wake up!"

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

"The dollar is falling!"

"The end of the world is nigh."

Fire at the Bisto Factory

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

'That woke me up, too!'

George's invention to wake deep sleepers was proving to be successful.

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

"No smoking, except in designated Fire and Brimstone areas."

You're letting this security thing go to your head.

Town crier rings bell for a wake up call.

"Ralphie sold me his car alarm."

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

Speed Bump

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

Though the R-331 was used exactly one time, it is still generally recognized as the worlds first alarm clock.

"By the way...what is the minimum stoppping distance at 60 MPH?"

'Oh drat. I forgot to mail in this month's house insurance payment.'

You wanted to see me, boss? Come in, minion. My 13-year contract with Barely Secure Alarm and Donuts is about to expire. I'm tired of paying their exorbitant $7.99 annual fee. From now on, you're going to be the café's alarm system. We'll attach the doors to your eyelids by twine, and if anyone opens a door, you'll know. I'll have to deduct the cost of twine from your check, but I'm sure you can write that off. Very bad man.

Snake alarm clocks.

Billy strip: driving slowly.

Chicken Clarke.

Get You Home Tow Truck.

Excuse me luv, do you know what's happened to all my 'stuff'?

"This is our loudest alarm, guaranteed to go off if any motorcycle comes within 200 yards of your parked car."

"OK, that's enough for today. I think he's learned his lesson."

'Are you back or front seat driving?'

Driving School - "Now I want you to reverse around a corner whilst talking into your mobile phone."

"EEEeeeeee ... This has only been a test. If this had been a true emergency you would have heard OH MY F***ING $%&#!!"