Drive Master Gifts

Golfers with bumper sticker 'How do you like my DRIVING?'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

A Bloody Butcher

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

InOutYada Yada.

Desk shaped like an office block.

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Dentist Training School.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'We're hoping to release him over the Grand Canyon.'

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'Welcome aboard, Peterson.'

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

Ah Ha!

The Miracle Worker

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

"In that speech, forget that line: are you better off than four years ago?"

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'