Digital Master Gifts

"As soon as I finish birdy's domain name, you can add the twitter feed!"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"I don't know which needs charged more, him or all the devices he was on all summer."

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

The Miracle Worker

Ah Ha!

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"He who controls the Internet controls the world."

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Frankie Boyle

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."

'Better not circulate these.'

"Now I'd like to introduce the rest of my band. Give it up for my laptop!"

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Sometimes a spirit will linger in this world if it has emails it needs to reply to."

Checking watch

Computer He-male (email).

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

Monk on PC.

"Turns out Mommy's life is one big long report, sweeitie."

Conducting a blue bird.

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

Large handbook for hand held PCs.

Substitute Music Teacher Phil, A non-musician, performs for his students: 'My next selection is something I will now download from the Internet.'

The cat's paw - "...A free house doesn't mean all your ale for nothing?"