Drinks Order Comedian Gifts

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Man...You age great!'

Teapot

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Hydration

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Join me in a beer?

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"She said don't forget the straw."

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"It's for his shakes."

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

"I like to keep my option open."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

Knight with a tap in his armour.

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

"Is that decaf?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

"Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in - unless they've moved to a one-bedroom condo in Boca Raton."

'Is that the water authority? Can I use my hosepipe to pump out the basement?'

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

"Too dry?"