Drinks Diva Gifts

'When he hired me he agreed I wouldn't have to make coffee, but I should have known there was a catch.'

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

Out of patience

Cow and Milk

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

How would Madam like to pay?

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"Wine is plant-based food."