Driving Diva Gifts

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"The very first thing we learn is to kangaroo."

"Why do women live on average three years longer than men?"

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

Out of patience

Party Time!

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

Brownie Points

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

Pharmacy School. We're having a pop quiz. I should have known there'd be surprise drug tests in pharmacy school.

'Houston, we have a problem. We're going to need a bigger toothbrush.'

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Dentist as car mechanic with mouth under the bonnet

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

"She has to arouse you, without, of course, actually arousing you."

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"Who should I examine first, you or your lawyer?"

Meanwhile, back at the 'shape' party... 'Hey, check out the square dancing with Brenda...!'

Dancing Doctor

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

My mum is very houseproud.

'He's our son, Roger. If he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax, then he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax.'

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"You're not serious. You want me to up Latin dance?"

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

9:15. Sorry I'm late -- I had to floss.

'It;s the xmas party, Jane... let your hair down!'