Directive Diva Gifts

Maud was a real backseat driver.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

How would Madam like to pay?

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

Brownie Points

A day at the races

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

"I'm not whining."

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"Face it, you'd be lost without me!"

"No Jake, you promised you'd given up the gun."

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

Jennifer Felt Perfectly Safe Walking Through the Park at Night with Her Handy Cast-Iron Baguette.

Lawyer with two desk organizers: Letter of the Law and Spirit of the Law.

"If you ask me, good parenting requires clear boundaries, loving discipline and random acts of off-the-wall crazy."

Film Casting Co.

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

Alison Pill

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

'It says the best way to stop undesirable behavior is to ignore it.'