Directive Diva T-Shirts

Maud was a real backseat driver.

University Soapflakes

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

How would Madam like to pay?

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

A day at the races

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

Brownie Points

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Bun Lift

"I'm not whining."

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

June Brown

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

"No Jake, you promised you'd given up the gun."

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"Face it, you'd be lost without me!"

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

Lawyer with two desk organizers: Letter of the Law and Spirit of the Law.

Jennifer Felt Perfectly Safe Walking Through the Park at Night with Her Handy Cast-Iron Baguette.

Film Casting Co.

"If you ask me, good parenting requires clear boundaries, loving discipline and random acts of off-the-wall crazy."

Alison Pill

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'