Drinking Yogi Gifts

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga classes door.

My God, I need to fart.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Here goes nothing."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"Complaining empowers us."

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

I love Yoga

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

Pot Needles

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

Santa Yoga

Cat Yoga

Meditating on Cacti

"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."