Dreamland Diplomat T-Shirts

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Playground reputation.

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"We're too tired to argue. Let's let Siri and Alexa handle this for us."

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

Leadership in the Covid-19 era

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Click 'Like' even if you don't, but are afraid your friends will get mad if you don't.'

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

Canadian Zoom

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

Permission to get to first base denied.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'