Dreamland Diplomat Gifts

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Playground reputation.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Click 'Like' even if you don't, but are afraid your friends will get mad if you don't.'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

Leadership in the Covid-19 era

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

Canadian Zoom

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'