Dream Dodger Gifts

"On top of everything else this is a bureaucratic nightmare."

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Midnight Basketball

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Baseball Dreams

'I don't mind him sleeping on our bed but why must he wear MY pyjamas?'

"You see? There are no vacuum cleaners under your bed."

Not The Real Me

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'He's not too picky. He'll sleep through most anything.'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"I'm sorry but Mr. Berrell is in Port St. Lucie trying out for the Mets."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.