Downtime Doer Gifts

"There's absolutely nothing to do. Wanna start a podcast?"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

'Your very generous charitable contribution shows up as this very slight blip right here.'

I Heart Data

Still Here

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"Let him sleep. When he wakes up his nightmare will begin!"

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

"My one regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my office."

Information

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."

Downtrodden Abbey

"I'm an assistance dog."

"Like you, I once loved women - then I discovered spreadsheets."

"We stayed ahead of the curve, but it was the wrong curve."

Desk sale

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

Zerotasking