Downtime Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Can that be right?"

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Clock watcher

'-Must remember to empty that...'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

How cats see their home

"It's his creative time."

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

Institute of Lazy Journalism

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'What you want is not time to yourself, you want time up yourself.'

"There's absolutely nothing to do. Wanna start a podcast?"

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Zerotasking

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

'Would you like seconds?'

King George VI

'It shouldn't take long to wnd up your Aunt's estate. She only left you an alarm clock.'

"I don't know, between days off and off-days, I never seem to get anything done."