Downtime Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

"Can that be right?"

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

Clock watcher

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

How cats see their home

"It's his creative time."

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

'What you want is not time to yourself, you want time up yourself.'

"There's absolutely nothing to do. Wanna start a podcast?"

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

Institute of Lazy Journalism

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Zerotasking

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

"I don't know, between days off and off-days, I never seem to get anything done."

King George VI

'Would you like seconds?'

'It shouldn't take long to wnd up your Aunt's estate. She only left you an alarm clock.'

"Oh, thank God!"