Doping Awareness Advocate Pillows

'Son, stay away from drug addicts - don't watch the Tour de France!'

Doping

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Vlad the Inhaler

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

"It's not so much riding off into the sunset as it is heading west till my asthma improves."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Sewer Rats

Olympic Doping

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

National Asthma Society Parade

Don't do drugs and Don't sniff glue T-Shirts.

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

"...No more black coffee!"

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."