Doping Awareness Advocate Gifts

'Son, stay away from drug addicts - don't watch the Tour de France!'

Doping

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Vlad the Inhaler

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

Bubbling

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"It's not so much riding off into the sunset as it is heading west till my asthma improves."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

Olympic Doping

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

Don't do drugs and Don't sniff glue T-Shirts.

National Asthma Society Parade

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'