Anti-doping Awareness Advocate Pillows

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to hand over that cape. Your test came back positive for anabolic steroids."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Zika global alert

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

Bubbling

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Olympic flame sending postcard - 'Wish I wasn't here.'

Sewer Rats

Doping

Olympic Doping

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

'Just look on the positive side Mr. President - you've single-handedly united the world!!'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

Don't do drugs and Don't sniff glue T-Shirts.

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'