Anti-doping Awareness Advocate Pillows

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to hand over that cape. Your test came back positive for anabolic steroids."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Zika global alert

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Bubbling

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Olympic flame sending postcard - 'Wish I wasn't here.'

Sewer Rats

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Doping

Olympic Doping

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

Don't do drugs and Don't sniff glue T-Shirts.

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

'Just look on the positive side Mr. President - you've single-handedly united the world!!'

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'