Doomsday Dramatist Gifts

'You can take that off now.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Free speech isn't cheap!

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"Make sure you get payment up front."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

How to survive the coming crash.

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

Doomsday marketing

Climate Change Contingency House

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

Prepare to meet your author today!

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

"Actually, I will have fries with that."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

"Do you think they'll move the Doomsday Clock forward?"

'According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 will be the end of the world!'

"Where's the fire, pal?"

"You took your time!"

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'