Doomsday Humorists Gifts

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"Make sure you get payment up front."

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

Doomsday marketing

End of world nigh!!!

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 will be the end of the world!'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

TGI Doomsday.

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

IRS. They are both inevitable but at least the IRS grants extensions.

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

WORLD ENDS TODAY!, 'You say that like it's a BAD thing.'

The end of baseball season is near

Vicar pulls public-toilet hand towel which reads 'The end is nigh'

The end is near...regulate banks too big to fail!

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

'At least, we'll save the money for the Christmas presents.'

"I hate to say I told you so!"

Deforestation.

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

The split end is near.

'Tomorrow isn't good for me. How about tonight?'

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea