Doom-day Comedian Gifts

"O.K., doomer."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

"Make sure you get payment up front."

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

End of world nigh!!!

Doomsday marketing

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

Zombie Baseball

TGI Doomsday.

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

IRS. They are both inevitable but at least the IRS grants extensions.

The end of baseball season is near

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

The end is near...regulate banks too big to fail!

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

Deforestation.

The late Cretaceous period.

The split end is near.