Doom And Gloom Humorist Gifts

The split end is near.

Deforestation.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

If aliens' first contact is with a dad...

"Make sure you get payment up front."

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

If only we could sell shares in doom and gloom.

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Hedge of two moo cows

Doomsday marketing

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

End of world nigh!!!

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"I'm pretty sure I've already seen a rock like that in some museum back on Earth."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Zylo, you know there's a leash law on this planet!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

Corn Aliens

Alien that resembles a coconut is marooned on desert isle. Human on the same island cracks open coconuts. '. . acts of unspeakable barbarism by indigenous life form continue unabated . . .'

'Oh no! A Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme lord!'

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."