Doom-day Comedian Pillows

"O.K., doomer."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

"Make sure you get payment up front."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

End of world nigh!!!

Doomsday marketing

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

Zombie Baseball

TGI Doomsday.

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

The end is near...regulate banks too big to fail!

Deforestation.

The end of baseball season is near

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

The split end is near.

The late Cretaceous period.

"The end is near."