Doom Diary Keeper Pillows

The End Is Near.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Professional woman in pub

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

The End is Nigh

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'Lost Diary'

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

The Blob's Blog.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Dear Diary

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

Fortune teller sees impending doom

The world of medicine as we know it, will end soon.

Thin and thick

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

"Dear Diary: So I texted Julie..."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"