Domestic Management Gifts

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Let's get organized

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

"I don't do windows."

Ironing day.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Hassled Mother.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"Hello?"

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

man juggling career, home and children

A woman's work is never done!

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

The Complete Cycle.