Domestic Manager Gifts

'Retirement won't be that different from work. You'll just be reporting to me.'

"I feel like all I do is pick up crap all day."

"Each to each, I always say! Share and share alike! I take pride in my cuisine, but at the same time I am willing to divvy up household chores with a wife. Say, a wife named Irma. That is, if Irma shares as breadwinner! I'll do the cooking! We'll split th

"I'm going to grab a snack, turn down the heat, check a few scores, put the clothes in the dryer and go to the bathroom. ... You need anything?"

'I don't know how a mum of four could ever be referred to as 'jobless'.'

'Why, that's just the cat's pyjamas...'

Workaholic's note to his wife

'We need advice from an economist alright - a home economist!'

Let's get organized

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Hassled Mother.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Separation Anxiety

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Hello?"

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

man juggling career, home and children