Domestic Harmony Enthusiasts Pillows

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Magic Carpet Cleaning

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

Theirs and Theirs

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

Musical washing

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

'I guess you have another excuse for not taking out the garbage.'

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

"A Therapist didn't save my marriage. A plumber and a second bathroom saved my marriage!"

"My husband works from home."

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"