Household Harmony Enthusiast Pillows

"How do I get my husband to pick up after himself?"

"Sorry, but my mum doesn't want me to invite friends over: She's kind of ashamed we live in a pigsty..."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Separation Anxiety

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Looks like I do dishes again.

Magic Carpet Cleaning

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

Theirs and Theirs

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

Musical washing

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

'I guess you have another excuse for not taking out the garbage.'

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

Hymns and Her

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."