Domestic Harmony Devotee Pillows

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Separation Anxiety

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Magic Carpet Cleaning

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Looks like I do dishes again.

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Theirs and Theirs

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

We never go out anymore.

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

Musical washing

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

"A Therapist didn't save my marriage. A plumber and a second bathroom saved my marriage!"

"My husband works from home."

"I'm not allowed to come out and play. I was being good, but I relapsed."

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."