Domestic Harmony Seeker Pillows

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

Blanket Pull

"He likes to help with the shopping. It makes him feel useful."

"No, I don't write notes excusing husbands from household chores!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

BUS, 'Why, Bixby -- I didn't know you were married.'

"WHY did you get rid of the vacuum cleaner?"

"A Therapist didn't save my marriage. A plumber and a second bathroom saved my marriage!"

DIY Project Fantasy

"Well? What have you got to say for yourself?"

"I love TV. It keeps her quiet all evening."

'I guess you have another excuse for not taking out the garbage.'

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

'How many times do I have to tell you? You have to distribute the wash load evenly!'

Dear God, Architect of the universe, creator of this good earth with it's majestic seas, mountains and rivers plus many fantastic lifeforms, could you please stop Hilda....'

'It's preferrable to having your clothes all over the floor.'

Looks like I do dishes again.

'What really irritates me about you is the way you always leave the toilet seat up1!'

'The Buick and I will be searching for a more dynamic stability.'

'Whenever something tumultuous happens, my first thought is always: what do the Loose Women think about this?'

Theirs and Theirs

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

A woman's work is never done!

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?