Domestic Harmony Seekers Pillows

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Hymns and Her

"Okay, I SIT corrected!"

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

A woman's work is never done!

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Looks like I do dishes again.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Blanket Pull

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"I apologize for the mess."

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"