Domestic Harmony Advocate Pillows

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

Hurry with the brush please, my jewellery needs a clean!

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Looks like I do dishes again.

Magic Carpet Cleaning

Workplace bullying.

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

Happy Everything

Theirs and Theirs

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

Shooting the Dove of Peace

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Musical washing

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

What we need more of. . . Love, World Peace, A Uniting of America. . .