Domestic Harmony Devotee T-Shirts

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

Separation Anxiety

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Looks like I do dishes again.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

Theirs and Theirs

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

Musical washing

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'I guess you have another excuse for not taking out the garbage.'

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Hymns and Her

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."