Domestic Comedy Fans Pillows

"Don’t even think about it!"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Dad Trophies

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Standard & Poor

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"He looks just like your husband."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Yakety-Yak

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."