Domestic Sitcom Fan Pillows

Road Sign for Domestic Violence

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

"Before you soak your monitor in that soapy water, I suggest doing some research on how to properly clean it."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"The blow drier is broken."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Nativity - The sitcom

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

Mind control

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

"Please don't go!"

'Safe!'

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."