Family Sitcom Fans Pillows

'Well, he's not exactly germane.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Suffering from Cooties?

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

Spider boy

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.