Family Comedy Fans Pillows

"I'm tired of the Mom channel. Switch to the Dad channel."

Proud parent praise their child

Don't pay any attention to her father, Mark... He's just a little overprotective. He doesn't even know how to use that thing.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".