Family Humor Aficionados Pillows

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Dad Trophies

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

The Family Joules: Part 5

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

'I want you to bring me one.'

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

'He didn't learn that from me!'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Mummy?!

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'