Domestic Sitcom Fan Prints

Road Sign for Domestic Violence

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

"Before you soak your monitor in that soapy water, I suggest doing some research on how to properly clean it."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"The blow drier is broken."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

Nativity - The sitcom

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

'Safe!'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

Mind control

"Please don't go!"

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."