Comedy Fans Pillows

"You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you a werewolf."

Room for one more...

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Unexpected victory.'

'Please turn off all cell phones & personal electronics during this surgeons.'

'Hey! My lower back pain! It's gone!'

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

Naked Morris Dancers.

"Ouch! paper cut"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Ted's confidence quickly fades.

Wieners Sausages.

'Sure, I'll buy a watch. You take plastic?'

'He's upset because the fraudsters who stole his identity gave it back...'

'YUCK!!' - Bear dislikes the taste of fish.

'Allow me to place this glass flip-flop on your foot, Cinderella.'

'No, lets watch them freak out instead.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'When did 'dude' become an adverb and an adjective?'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you help me?'

'What makes you think I tell really big lies, Pinocchio?'

'You keep promising me you'll change, Reginald, but I haven't got all day!'

'You didn't have to kick the bucket that hard.'

Ballerinas Change a Light bulb

'The only thing wrong with you, Tom, is that you're almost too good to be true.'

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

TSA Lines

"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

Mop chop.

"Speak, Rover come on boy." - "Rover, come on boy."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Don't smoke in the house

'It appears to be a legitimate restraining order. . .'