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"You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you a werewolf."

Room for one more...

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Unexpected victory.'

'Please turn off all cell phones & personal electronics during this surgeons.'

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

'Hey! My lower back pain! It's gone!'

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

Naked Morris Dancers.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Ouch! paper cut"

Ted's confidence quickly fades.

'He's upset because the fraudsters who stole his identity gave it back...'

'Allow me to place this glass flip-flop on your foot, Cinderella.'

'YUCK!!' - Bear dislikes the taste of fish.

'Sure, I'll buy a watch. You take plastic?'

'No, lets watch them freak out instead.'

TSA Lines

Ballerinas Change a Light bulb

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'When did 'dude' become an adverb and an adjective?'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you help me?'

'You keep promising me you'll change, Reginald, but I haven't got all day!'

'The only thing wrong with you, Tom, is that you're almost too good to be true.'

'You didn't have to kick the bucket that hard.'

'What makes you think I tell really big lies, Pinocchio?'

"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"

Take-A-Break

"You couldn't resist telling him about your vasectomy could you?!"

Insensitive Driving School

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"I think you're supposed to wait until they put it under their pillow..."

Mop chop.

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