Domestic Comedy Lovers Pillows

"Just get out there and cut the bloody grass Brian!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Mulch madness"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

"The blow drier is broken."

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

Search for Missing Socks

Spider boy

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

"Please don't go!"

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."