Domestic Comedy Lovers Gifts

"Just get out there and cut the bloody grass Brian!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Mulch madness"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"The blow drier is broken."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

Search for Missing Socks

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

Spider boy

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"Please don't go!"

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

"Quit with that racket - you're scaring the fish."

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."