Domestic Animal Harmony Seeker Gifts

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Dog says hi to a cat.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Separation Anxiety

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

A woman's work is never done!

Bird plucking a cello

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Looks like I do dishes again.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Blanket Pull

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"I apologize for the mess."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

Theirs and Theirs

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

"Roommates"

My mum is very houseproud.