Household Harmony Seeker Gifts

'I know you just retired, but I want you to stop following me!'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

'If my 'Honey-Do' list annoys you, wait till you see my 'Honey-Don't.'

'My room's in a terrible state - Mum's just cleaned it!'

Separation Anxiety

Magic Carpet Cleaning

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Boy washing dishes

"Our office cleaner has left, I don't suppose there's any chance.. "

Poor Mr. Tramp struggles hard to keep an immaculate home...

Musical washing

"No, Sir. Your in-laws don't qualify as pest."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

A woman's work is never done!

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Blanket Pull

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'