Domestic Advisor Gifts

'We need to start dividing the housework for more peaceful marriages?' - What they'd say if they really wanted the women's vote.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

Categories are the key to organizing.

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

"It's not what you think."

Warring parents

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

Mom's The Boss

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

'It's nothing serious. My wife and I just had a little tiff.' (Marriage counselor covered in bruises, cuts and bandages).

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

"Yesterday's clothes, which weren't quite dirty enough to wash, or clean enough to put away" "The day before yesterday's clothes" "A parcel you have forgotten to send back" "Your sense of inner peace and harmony" "Clothes from the day before that" "A beloved sock, last seen in February 2023"

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

Kid reader to librarian about 'Parenting' book: 'This didn't tell me anything about how to deal with parents.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

'He always leads with his chin! Is that my fault?'

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"