Home Consultant Gifts

Categories are the key to organizing.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Environment policy.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Price may vary with weather.

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"Sorry, Edmund, but this is going to be a paper-free office."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

How Many It Takes

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'