Real Estate Consultant Gifts

Cow and stable door 'What do you think of the barn conversion?'

"If you're serious about selling it, the first thing you need to do is change its name from 'Riverside Cottage'."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Sold his air rights."

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Categories are the key to organizing.

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.